"I always knew some Australians were racist but I never truly knew how much until I married my Indian husband. Is it sad use the term "lucky" when referring to my sons anglo appearance? It's not because I favour white looks but rather that he will not have to deal with racism his father faces. Sad isn't it?
My husband receives thinly disguised racist comments on a daily basis. The behaviour directed towards him compared to the kiwi or Aussie men is worlds apart. He tries to be friendly to everyone but it does not change their behaviour. The worst one is his supervisor who shouts his name and and uses his finger to direct him, just like people do well directing a dog. My husband is not an animal. He has feelings, but most importantly he is a human being.
The fact is that until you directly receive racism of the demeaning kind then you can't imagine how much it hurts. It hurts deep inside because it is a direct attack on something you can not change (and should not), your race. It makes you ashamed or embarrassed of who you are. I can not say enough how much it hurts.
I have receive racism for being white. It was directed at me by my in-laws before I married my husband. The biggest concern of theirs was that I was white and couldn't look after my husband. it hurt a bit but I knew why they had formed this view. You just have to watch a Bollywood movie featuring a white actress. She will be hot, she will be sexy but she will be seen as a bit of fun, a mistake, a slut, a mischievous temptress that steals the hero from his pure and wife material Indian girl. Bollywood is the mirror of what Indians (not all) see of white women. Bollywood portrays them this way because Indian society sees us that way. Society then sees it in a movie and it builds on the stereotype.
We may not feel effected by this stereotype planted into the culture by Bollywood but some my friends have. Some have had advances by Indian men for simply walking down the street. Some have been hassled, had sexual requests straight out and some instances abused when she has turned them down. They in return see all Indian men as sleazy and inappropriate. It is one big circle of generating stereotypes.
But if you want to be certain you are not racist then you should start with knowing the meaning of racism. Racism is when you discriminate or put down a race based on a negative stereotype of that race. Racism is when you can not see the individual but only the stereotype. I fight this daily as a Muslim woman. I fight the stereotype of weak, oppressed, voiceless, radical, anti-Australian, terrorist. Many do not see me as an individual. Many do not see me as a mother, a volunteer, a feminist who is outspoken and loves their country (even served in the ADF). I am that and much much more and the worst thing you can do to me is put the stereotype of being an oppressed Muslim woman when it is so clear that I am not.
I do not mind people supporting the many Muslim women out their who have faced abuse at the hands of men. I am right behind you in stamping out honour killings, FGM, child brides and any other abuse that some Muslim women may receive. Just do not assume that I need saving or that we all need saving. Do not tell me hijab is not my choice because I am "oppressed". Do not tell me that my kind husband is my tyrant. I do not fit your stereotype. I like to use this example in describing how I feel.
-> If you see an Asian man in the water at Bondi Beach and you jump in to save him. You reach him and grab him ready to pull him to safety. He tells you is fine and is just out for a swim but you don't listen because you saw on TV how many Asians get in trouble at Bondi. No matter how much he protests you bring him to shore and he is pissed off. He does not want to be saved. He does not need it. But he is most annoyed because you assumed he would be drowning just because he is Asian. <-
If you don't want to be racist then each time you meet a person, get to know them as an individual and not a stereotype. That is how you become a better person."
