The Day I Caught The Plague

Yeah I know I didn't really catch the plague but it sure did feel like it. In actual fact I had just caught head lice. I don't know where I caught my annoying little friends but it was during my time in India that I discovered them. What makes the situation even more peculiar is that I wear the head scarf in public so catching them from a stranger in close proximity is quite a leap (unintentional pun). I have a theory that I caught them whilst in an Indian hospital. Indian hospitals are not as clean as you would expect and I doubt they change the pillowcases with each new patient. However I am not writing about where I caught them. My issue is how others treat you when you as an adult catches a disgusting plague of head lice. Because let's face it. It does not matter when kids catch them because we all know kids are disgusting.

So during my trip in India I noticed I had an insanely itchy scalp. At first I thought it was sweat because we were trudging around in 40 plus heat. I then thought that it must be dandruff as I still itched once I returned to our air conditioned room. Finally once returning to my in laws house I reached up one day and grabbed a big fat louse! Yep thats what you call individual lice. I proceeded to tell my sister in law that I had head lice. I will never forget how everyone reacted. Instead of telling me what treatment to use I was told I had caught them because my hair was dirty. I must admit I do not have luscious Indian locks of silk as my hair is wavy and occasionally frizzy. But I do wash my hair every second day and it is very healthy. This knee jerk reaction was shared by everyone in my husbands family and reminded me of my teen years when you dare not tell a soul besides you mother if you found a louse. I find this reaction is quite common worldwide so I am not insulting my in laws who are beautiful and lovely people.

Use conditioner instead of expensive treatments. Then comb the suckers out

It got me thinking about society and how easily we judge each other. Instead of coming to the rescue we like to point out where the person went wrong.  It's not that you choose to have head lice but rather the head lice choose you. Head lice don't care what type of hair you have, they are opportunists. The'll take a free meal and a new home whenever the chance arises. That is why it's not fair to blame the host of a new colony of head lice. It was out of their control. Best thing to do is to tell the person you'll help them out whether it is breathing in chemical fumes whilst you treat their hair, combing meticulously, or squashing the little critters. A helpful phrase my mum said to cheer me up was "Head lice only like healthy hair". A lie (they like what they can get) but it certainly did help. Because let's face it, having head lice pretty much sucks big time and the last thing you need is someone judging your hygiene.


I said good riddance my lice. They died through countless treatments of conditioner and combing. I can't help worry taht I have caught lice every time I get the odd dandruff but next time I hope to take it in the same stride as my 8 yr old neighbour. On returning to Australia I saw at her home on a school day. I asked her why she was not at school and she told me she too had caught head lice. We sat there in the sunny afternoon chatting and comparing numbers. Ahhh I miss childhood.

5 Things You Should Know Before Travelling to a Third World Country

So recently I spent 8 weeks in India. I travelled many places and really immersed myself in the culture. I kind of already knew the culture being married to an Indian but it was only when I was there could I fully get a sense of it. My trip was amazing to say the least but their were certain aspect of travelling in a third world country that confronted me. So I made a list that will prepare many for their trips to 3rd world countries.

1. Pollution
Pollution is the most confronting aspect of travelling in a third world country. The government spends less on infrastructure so there are no garbage trucks picking up your trash in the morning. There are no roadside bins that people frequently use. In fact when I asked my husband why there were no bins, he replied that people would simply steal them.

It is hard to see people polluting their nation so much but it is part of the culture. Inside is clean and outside is dirty. That is why you can expect to be put in this posh 5 start hotel only to walk out into a pile of rubbish with dogs scrounging around for leftovers. Third world nations are often highly populated and the norm in these nations is to throw things onto the street. This includes my niece is who just graduated medical school and is aware of the current environmental problems. When I finished with my kulfi she suggested I just throw the wrapper out of the car. Something the Australian in me struggled to do.

Tip - carry hand sanitiser and cleanse face regularly as pollution will stick to your skin

Slum dwellers search for their belongings through the debris after a fire in Kolkata, India, Jan. 23, 2012. (Bikas Das/Associated Press) #

2. Sanitation
Lack of sanitation to be more precise. It is probably the most confronting for some including myself. It is not so much the squat toilets which are common in third world nations but more the not the lack of using toilets altogether. Yep that's right. Don't wait until you get home or find a public toilet, just do it in the street. It took me a while to work out why men were standing on the side of the road and when I did I became disgusted. Men pee everywhere. It is not uncommon to be shopping in a busy marketplace and have to jump over a suspicious wet patch. My husband often warned by shouting "pee". I knew that meant jump over everything that it wet.

But it's not just the thought of people peeing and pooping everywhere but rather the smell of it. I have smelt stenches that I think I will only ever smell in India. Stenches of human bodily waste often flood your auto-rickshaw and have you covering your face with a scarf. This is possibly why many young women cover their face whilst riding on a motorcycle. Either that or the pollution in the air.

However you being a traveller may also need to use a restroom and that in itself is an experience. If you are lucky (or should that be unlucky) to find a restroom you will most likely be faced with the choice of a squat toilet or a squat toilet. Yeah public western toilets are not common but I wouldn't feel clean using one anyway. So on my recent trip I was needing to wee and we had stopped at a coffee shop so I thought I would use the restroom. My husband told me it was broken so I went next door to a toilet in the park. What I found is unspeakable. I have had toilet nightmares from that day.

Tip - Carry hand sanitiser and go wee in you hotel room or a nice restaurant

A man takes a bath outside his shanty in front of the Indian national flag in Dharavi, one of Asia's largest slums, in Mumbai, Jan. 24, 2012. Female workers at Dharavi made a 151ft-long (46m) Indian flag to celebrate India's Republic day. (Danish Siddiqui/Reuters) #

3. Illness
So now you know that poo and wee are everywhere as well as pollution in the air there is no reason why you can expect to stay healthy an entire trip. I was warned prior to my trip that I would fall sick. How sick? Well I had no idea but I decided to get travel insurance to be safe. Good choice. I did fall sick and so did my husband, son, and mother in law. Three of us ended up in hospital because of the gastro bug from hell. Nothing can ruin your holiday like shooting liquids from both ends.

If I put it nicely you may not think that you will get very sick but I must warn you that it can happen. It can go from bad to worse quickly and in my sons case it landed him in hospital for two days. That does not mean we walked out the next day all better. No way. We carried on being sick for weeks. I could not eat properly, my toddler had the runs, and my husband was scared of eating anything outside of home.

We were warned by the doctors that water often carries diseases so we started boiling the mineral water that was delivered to our home. We would only drink bottled drinks when out and we would be careful where we chose to eat our meals. This unfortunately meant that I missed out on Pani Puri because the water in it was not bottled water nor was it boiled. Rule of thumb is that you are most likely going to get sick but don't do stupid things like drinking the tap water.

Tip - Get travel insurance, use hand sanitiser and only drink bottled and boiled water.

A child is administered polio drops at a slum by a mobile unit during an anti-polio drive in New Delhi, Jan. 15, 2012. (Saurabh Das/Associated Press) #

4. Poverty
Like pollution, poverty is in your face. If you are the sensitive type to really get shaken over seeing people in squalor then you should probably rethink your plans to travel to a third world country. You will have people on every corner begging for money. You will not be able to sit in your car without being asked for money. What you possess is a lot to the poor person. You can afford to pay a driver then it means you are rich. You can afford to dine in a restaurant then it means you are rich. You have shoes on your feet that look new then it means you are rich. This will make you are a beggars magnet and so you will have to prepare yourself to see people with horrible injuries and mothers with infants who have no pants on. Diseases that we immunise against in our country cause life long crippling to people in third world countries. What we have in our country has sheltered us and to see it up close is a real shock.

Tip - Not every beggar is genuine but try to give when you can. Prepare to cry at some point.

An Indian woman sleeps outdoors in a shanty area in Hyderabad, India, Jan. 11, 2012. India has about 93 million slum dwellers. (Mahesh Kumar A./Associated Press) #

5. Corruption
I remember hearing a story about a soldier who betrayed his men for money and having our guide quip that it was the start of Indian corruption. Corruption is something we don't really face in the western world. We don't pay off police men nor do we pay a little extra to get things moving quicker. However in India, corruption is a fact of life and it's the same for other third world nations. If you get pulled over by a police man despite doing nothing wrong you will still be expected to pay a "fine". In fact if you have anything to do with the government you will most likely come into contact with corruption. It is so common that it doesn't get much of a reaction when it is exposed on the news. People expect it and think that if they were in the same position they would do the same.

But it's not just government officials that will try to take money from you. In fact where there is poverty there are people trying to make quick money. The best target is tourists who do not know the country or how much to pay. Be prepare to be lied to, sold dodgy items and taken the long way to your destination all in order for an extra buck. Even the children begging on the street are often bluffing. They know tourists fall for their tears. But open up you wallet and say you don't have smaller change they will reply with "I have change". When poverty exists people will do anything to survive so just don't be surprised to be ripped off.

Tip - Research prices for everything, and bargain down. Ask hotel for average prices when using transport. Best way to get your price is to walk away.

A woman begs in a subway in Mumbai, India, Jan. 11, 2011. Villagers flock to cities to find work causing slums to expand and people to live on the streets. India has about 93 million slum dwellers, and as much as 50 percent of New Delhi's population is thought to live in slums, and 60 percent of Mumbai's population. (Rafiq Maqbool/ Associated Press) #

These tips may prove useful in a third world country but nothing can really prepare you for the experience. The best way is to accept the country for what it is and use copious amounts of hand sanitiser.

A Perfume Wishlist

So I started buying perfumes again after buying one in the duty free section on my recent travels. I am a bit tight when it comes to money so I have found some bargain sites that sell my favourites at great prices.

The dilemma!

What one do I purchase next.

I have been doing the rounds and sampling so great perfumes. I have also found my taste has changed since I last bought a lot of perfume. I will however never get over Dior Addict 2.

To put my predicament into perspective I have made a wishlist of perfumes I wish to buy.  

Here is the complete list:

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO

SIGNORINA 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY SALVATORE FERRAGAMO    

GUCCI

ENVY ME 50ml EAU DE TOILETTE BY GUCCI  

FLORA 50ml EAU DE TOILETTE BY GUCCI 

COACH

COACH POPPY FLOWER 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY COACH

GUESS

GUESS SEDUCTIVE 75ml EAU DE TOILETTE BY GUESS

MARC JACOBS

HONEY 100ml EAU DE PARFUM BY MARC JACOBS  

OH LOLA! 100ml EAU DE PARFUM BY MARC JACOBS    

OH LOLA! SUNSHEER 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY MARC JACOBS 

PRADA

CANDY L'EAU 50ml EAU DE TOILETTE BY PRADA

PRADA MILANO INFUSION D'IRIS ABSOLU FLEUR D'ORANGER 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY PRADA

VERSACE

BRIGHT CRYSTAL 50ml EAU DE TOILETTE BY VERSACE 

YSL

ELLE INTENSE 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY YVES SAINT LAURENT          

PARISIENNE 50ml EAU DE PARFUM BY YVES SAINT LAURENT

Yes, that is over 1k in perfume. So no, I won't be purchasing all of it.

Help me out. Which one would you buy?

A quick guide to pattern names

I love patterns.

I love ethnic patterns the most. In my recent trip to India I was in pattern heaven.

Alas I am no longer in India surrounded by intricate design. I do however enjoy seeing patterns in decor. The only problem is I didn't know the names of these patterns..... until now. Here is a quick guide to my favourites.

Argyle

Houndstooth

Chevron

Moroccan

Demask

Fleur De Lis

Paisley

Quatrefoil

Fret

Trellis

Ikat

So there you have it. What are your favourite patterns?

In Focus: Modesty Wear

So I have been watching Modesty Wear on Facebook for some time. Since I have huge insecurities about my arms I have always been drawn to a batwing or butterfly abaya. That is why Modesty Wear caught my attention. They do an abaya/dress that uses the design but in colours and material that is so versatile it can be worn at any occasion


They have the batwing abaya that comes with a material belt that you can choose to wear.... or not.

For a little more dressy option, you can get a chiffon dress. Chiffon is very elegant and takes very little to make the dress a formal piece.

The also do skirts in every colour of the rainbow. They look so feminine with the bow at the front and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion.

But my favourite is the jumpsuit dress. If I could I would get every colour and pattern. I would live in them for the rest of my life!

They do these comfy looking cardigans too!

Modesty wear is extremely feminine and modest. They design pieces that are versatile and can be worn all year round.

I think it's time I purchased some pieces of my own..... problem is.... which ones?

We all grieve differently

"I'm fine". It's what I said when my beloved grandmother passed away. I felt that in my heart I was ok. I had felt at ease knowing she was not suffering anymore. I felt at ease I had said my goodbyes the night before her passing. I had convinced myself and was struggling to convince my family I was strong and that I could get up and ream a poem dedicated to her at her funeral. Truth was, I could do that. In fact I was strong enough to hide most of my emotions. But is that strength?

I had shared a very close bond with my grandmother. Joy was her name and she lived up to it in every way. She was my baby sitter when I was younger and my partner in crime as I got older. She was my comfort, companion and someone I cherished. She filled in such a large part of my life. Her love saw no bounds and she treated me no different when I converted to Islam 3 years ago.

It was my faith that had convinced me of her being at peace. "Believe in God, and do good deeds" is something essential in my belief in order to enter heaven and I found my grandmother was the epitome of this. My belief was what made me convince myself I was fine and how I became the rock who rarely cried despite being so close to her. What surprised me months later was that I was not so strong.



Believe it or not, I have never had anyone close to me pass away. I have never had someone who formed a huge part of my past and present leave my life. I was not used to the thought of death. That is what changed me. I started to focus on death. My mind dwelled on it. I thought about it almost every day. How can people just go?

My faith tells me their souls go to heaven and that is what I believe but I am still left with that emptiness.

At the same time as my grandmothers passing, my cousin had attempted suicide and was in a critical condition. Soon after her funeral, he too passed. His grandmother, sister in law to my grandmother, had lost her grandson and best friend in a couple of weeks. Sadly she too passed this month and like before I held it together.

But here is where I fall apart....

When people get on with life and just think lovingly of the person, I focus on the death. I focus on the ending and have a nauseating feeling of emptiness. My thoughts have become dark and I have changed in my outlook and behaviour. I have become snappy. I have become detached. I have not been able to return to my family home since my grandmothers funeral. Why? Because death is there and I am afraid of it. I don't even know why I am afraid.

All I know is that I am still grieving and I still get upset in my own way. Sometime I wish I could cry because at least people would still see I am grieving. But I don't and many are just left with a sometimes detached, sometimes irrational, sometimes lost woman.

Muslim women and the fashion drought

As any Muslim woman can and probably will tell you, buying clothes in Australia if you are a Muslim woman is quite difficult. We don't have a thriving Muslim fashion market in my city and the handful of shops selling Muslim clothing lines are either in one style or heavily marked up. I don't want to pay in the hundreds for an abaya.

When you mention it to people you are often met with responses suggesting you wait for the western clothing lines to put out a maxi dress or you should purchase when you travel overseas. What they don't understand is many of us are not born overseas and don't regularly travel overseas to Muslim majority nations.

What we are left to do is a bit of online shopping that involves a lottery pick in the size, fit and quality stakes. Deprived are we of the ability to go out and sort through the myriad of dresses, trying on and asking a million times if we look good in this. We miss out on the thrill and our husbands, fathers, brothers, don't have any idea how disappointed we are.

If you have a husband like mine who is appearance concerned and spends a whole day in the shopping malls trying to stock his wardrobe then you would understand my frustration dragged along on his quests. I get to the mall and walk out often empty handed. He walks out with four to five bags. He often asks why I never purchased anything and I'm dumbstruck. Do men not realise that between the short shorts and skinny jeans, there isn't a vast supply of suitable Muslimah clothing? That when we look at handbags and they worry we have an obsession, it's really just because we have nothing else to look at? Unless we are stocking our wardrobe with around the house clothing items we really have little to do with the mall and that disappoints me as it brought me so much fun when I was younger.

Alas, not all is lost. I have managed to become an excellent online shopper and built a small list of great Aussie brands that ship to where I live. Not exactly the same but it's something.